What are the signs he’s ready for a relationship? When developing a great relationship there are two components that you’re looking for. One is chemistry and the other is compatibility. You want to have both of these for a fantastic relationship.
Often it’s really easy to get seduced into thinking does he like you and you’re looking for the signs of whether or not he’s into you, he likes you, he’s falling in love with you and if he is then to just go with it and run with that relationship.
However, that comes at a cost because if you’re not careful and you choose a guy who isn’t compatible or worse yet doesn’t have what it takes to actually be in and develop a healthy long-term relationship, then it only leads to pain down the road.
So how do you know if the guy that you’re interested in and who’s interested in you is actually mature enough and healthy enough for a long-term relationship?
Today I’m going to share with you seven signs he’s ready for a relationship and serious one at that.
These signs actually come out of a great book that I was reading recently called How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich and they unpack what a healthy relationship and a healthy attachment style is versus unhealthy relationship patterns.
Every one of us as we’re growing up we learn from our moms and our dads how to have our own relationship patterns.
Table of Contents
- 1 1. Is he secure in both connection and independence?
- 2 2. He knows how to both give and receive.
- 3 3. Can he accept the good with the bad?
- 4 4. He knows how to wait and delay gratification.
- 5 5. He knows how to say “No”.
- 6 6. He knows how to work through conflict
- 7 7. You want a man who’s willing to say he’s sorry when he’s made a mistake.
1. Is he secure in both connection and independence?
The first healthy relationship sign that you’re looking for is that he is secure with both connection and independence. See in any relationship there are gonna be times when you’re connected and you’re doing things together, you’re cooking together, going on dates together.
You might be even working in a job together or working on a project together. It’s all great. But you want the person that you’re seeing to be equally as secure when they’re together with you as when they’re independent doing their own thing.
You want them to support you in doing your own thing having your own passions and hobbies. Having your own friends and spending time with those friends.
A major concern that lots of successful women who are doing very well in their business have about being with a man is someone who’s gonna smother them or who’s not going to respect their independence.
Their concern is losing their independence and losing this great life that they’ve created for themselves. That’s actually a sign of an unhealthy relationship if he is smothering and not willing to let you have the things that you would love for your life, that independence. You want a man who will both be secure with connection and independence for you and for himself.
2. He knows how to both give and receive.
It’s interesting in relationship patterns a lot of us tend to be really good at one or the other. We’re either really good at giving in a relationship and not so good at receiving. We will pour ourselves into this relationship. Give, give, give and then not be willing to receive.
Or we’re really good at receiving but not good at giving and contributing back into the relationship.
Well both are actually toxic because the person who is a taker is not contributing to the relationship but the person who is a giver and an over-giver that person will become burned out and then resentful of the relationship later on.
“In accepting the Gift you Honor the Giver.” – Stephen R. Donaldson
This was so powerful because you would think that best move is to always give. But receiving could be the highest value to give to the relationship.
3. Can he accept the good with the bad?
Every one of us we have good days and we do have bad days. Every one of us we’ve got successes and there are moments when we have failures
The healthy person in the relationship realizes this and they don’t connect their own self-worth, their own value to things going perfectly or them being perfect and feeling like if they have a setback or they have a bad day or they have a failure that their own value diminishes.
That they actually are connecting their own value to the effort that they’re making to who they are rather than what they’re producing in life. He affords you that same compassion, understanding patience.
They don’t hold you to a standard of perfection. They don’t hold you to a standard of having to have everything go right all the time. They’re willing to have patience and compassion and they extend it to both themselves and to you. That kind of person is going to make the relationship a much smoother ride. This is a great sign they’re ready for a serious relationship.
4. He knows how to wait and delay gratification.
In any relationship is made up of two people and so while we have our needs, your partner has their needs as well. That’s obvious.
The person who knows how to wait and delay gratification realizes that they are not the center of the universe they’re willing to get their needs met but they’re also willing to do it in a way that allows their partner to get their needs met as well.
This often comes up early in a relationship around sex and not all the time but often the man wants to have sex before the woman is ready and so if the man is mature he’s gonna wait until you are 100% ready.
He wants you to feel comfortable before you guys engage in being intimate with one another. The man who is not mature the man who was not ready for a healthy and great relationship is the man who’s gonna pressure you.
He’s the man who’s gonna try to make you feel guilty because you’re not giving it up and make no mistake that kind of behavior out of that man isn’t just isolated to that moment of the sexual encounter.
That kind of behavior infiltrates its way into other aspects of the relationship and becomes like a cancer to the relationship. That his needs are always gonna be more important than yours.
So you want to make sure that you’re with a man who’s willing to wait and delay gratification until both of you are absolutely ready. That is a man who’s not only willing to take care of his needs but take care of your needs at the same time.
5. He knows how to say “No”.
Healthy individuals and healthy relationships know how to set boundaries, not just in the relationship but really in life because the two of you are in a partnership together.
What you say yes to other people affects the relationship commitments that you’re making and whether you want to lean into that commitment to a family member or to a friend or to a boss is going to impact the relationship.
For example you say yes to a boss on a project you really don’t want to help out with or you can’t or don’t have time to help out with.
Now you’re working late nights and taking time away from the relationship or you say yes to and overextend yourself in a family relationship but now you can’t honor the one-on-one time with your significant other and you’re off doing family stuff.
A healthy person knows how to set boundaries when given an unreasonable request or when faced with a demanding person. They know how to say “no”.
It’s the unhealthy person that says yes and then complains to other people about it as if they’re a victim and never actually goes to the person with whom they have a problem. That is an unhealthy pattern.
A man who’s ready for a serious relationship is a a man who knows how to set boundaries, who knows how to take care of himself with healthy boundaries and by virtue of that take care of the relationship with you.
6. He knows how to work through conflict
There are a couple of things you’re guaranteed in a great relationship.
You are guaranteed joyful moments. Your guaranteed moments of conflict.
In any kind of relationship is gonna happen. You know this, you’ve experienced this. The degree to which your man can work through conflict that is a skill and a quality that will last the test of time and help contribute to the deep quality of that relationship.
An unhealthy person avoids conflict. They don’t want to talk about it. They sweep it under the rug. They either pretend like nothing’s wrong and then when it builds up, builds up, builds up then they explode about that same conflict and they’re unreasonable and hard to actually find a solution to that conflict.
You want a man who is able to what we call shovel while the piles are smaller. If something bothers one of you, you’re willing to talk about it right when it happens, find a solution and move on. That’s how you keep the energy and that relationship clean and clear.
The relationship feels lighter and it ends up being a whole lot more fun and enjoyable for years to come.
7. You want a man who’s willing to say he’s sorry when he’s made a mistake.
You see the unhealthy man gets defensive but the healthy man is willing to own up when he’s made a mistake and apologize for any errors that he’s done in the relationship.
It’s the insecure man who feels like saying he’s sorry or making an apology actually demeans his status in the relationship. It demeans or lessens his value in the relationship which isn’t true at all.
It’s the healthy person who knows that you know what when I’ve made a mistake I’m willing to say I’m sorry and make it right. You want a man who’s willing to do that.
So make it a major red flag if the guy that you’re seeing even when he’s wrong and knows it, won’t say he’s sorry. Because the guy who says he’s sorry is the guy who’s mature enough, secure enough to create an amazing long-lasting relationship with you.
So there you have it. My question to you is of these seven signs he’s ready for a serious relationship that we’ve just gone through, are there any other signs that you are looking for when you’re looking a man who’s going to be in a long-term relationship with you?
What do you value most? Go ahead and put that in the comment section below I hope this serves you and gives you a crystal clear blueprint that when you’re dating the guy, you’re looking for these signs if he’s got all these seven signs a massive thumbs up to a great partnership and a beautiful relationship down the road with you.